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Thursday, May 19th, 2005
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12:11 am
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12:11 am - sexy
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12:10 am - Photobucket
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| Thursday, October 14th, 2004
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9:36 pm - More Pix of my baby Norman
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9:32 pm - Mmm Norman
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| Monday, October 11th, 2004
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11:50 am - Boring Rainy Day...
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Wow.. Today I woke up and had like 18 missed calls from Greg. He said I'm a lier. I don't see how considering I told him I was going to go and visit Norman before. He is so stupid!! I can't stand Greg anymore. It's like, I ignore him and he always comes back. He won't leave me alone. I just don't want any part of him. Whenever we talk we argue. People that know him are like, Jenn you can do so much better don't waste your time on him, and I'm not. Awwe!! Alex called me from Japan again!! He told me that being in the airforce is pretty scarey and hard work. I bet, I know I could'nt do it. I want to go and visit him soo bad!! Norman's got his apartment all set up. I get to do the decorating because he know's I can decorate good because when we lived in NC.... I did the decorating And he LOVED IT!! I'm so glad we are on good terms. It's also good because we should be friends again and build each others trust before we can be lovers again. I love this man, we planned our whole future out. Talkin about Kids, Marriage even stuff when we are 82years old we talked about. When we get our house one day if we are together I get all the rooms to decorate but I gotta leave the garage for him...Haha he's so goofy!! I need to call his dad and see how he's doing. I love his dad and his dad loves me!! Hehe :) Normans friends in Ohio seem pretty chill and straight. I can't wait until I meet them!!!
current mood:  Calm, Cool and Collective
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(3 comments | comment on this)
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| Saturday, October 9th, 2004
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10:58 am - **ATTENTION EVERYONE **
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My New Pix
Check out my new pix.. u wont be disappointed Katie.. haha You and Tonya need to call me tonight so we can hit up some parrtays!!!
current mood:  pleased
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10:51 am - GOOD MORNING!!!
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Well, Last night was so fucked up. I will never ever talk to Greg again!! He asks me to come over, so I cancled my fucking date with Joe who is 21years old, has his own business building his own house, bad ass mustang, hot as hell just for a fucking loser. So whatever I am done with people who wanna fuck with my head. I am going to Ohio the 28th of this month till the 1st i cant wait!! I'll be gone for Halloween....BOO!! I've been taking so many pictures lately.. hehe Greg called me 18times and I had my phone on silent so he thought I was ignoring him and left rude ass mesages. I was going to return his call's but then after he got smart with me fuck that. Also, Bobby Judd and Mark Florio called my last night at 3? I talked to ALEX!! I love him hes my boy... He called from his Base in Japan!! I might go visit him there its 1,500 for a ticket I was like HOLY PAJEEZIS! lol well im at work but i needto go tanning at 2 and then go to my mommys and visit with her. I hate driving everywhere now.. I use to like it.. but now its just a chore.. love ya
current mood: Leaving the 28th!
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| Thursday, October 7th, 2004
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3:08 pm
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11:08 am - NEW PIX
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9:32 am - Hey!!
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Hey wow today would have been 2years for me and Norman. I was quite upset last night with my parents. They really pissed me off!!! But Norman was there for me and helped me through my problems I had. I am leaving the 28th of October till the 1st of November to go to Ohio (hopefully things work out this time!). I can't believe Eric Alan Peoples died! He was on xanex and drowned in a pool... Why is everyone taking drugs and dieing from them? I also heard Shawn Padilla died, I don't know if it's true yet but It's crazy. I need to leave Florida and get away from all these people who use drugs and all the drugs. I'm glad Norman and I are on great terms.. He really is a great, caring, funny, and loving guy when he wants to be. I know him like the back of my hand. He knows me the same as well.. Well ill write more later... ta ta!
current mood:  anxious
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| Tuesday, October 5th, 2004
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11:27 am - MMM BOP!
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Hehe.. Wow... Things seem to be going very well as of right now. Norman and I are on good speaking terms. It's nice having him as a good friend. I would do anything in the world for him and him vice versa. I told him how Luke said he was goin to put me in acoma and he told me if anyone touches me he will beat the shit outta them!! As of me and Greg .. well that's something that will never happen. He is too confused, and he dosn't like me like that. Plus he is immature, saying oh yeah probably messages from 50 other girls who called me, like I care? If you like someone you don't try and make them jealous by talking about other girls like that. I mean I stopped talking about Norman. But I dont THINK Greg Likes me so why should I even try anymore? I only try and try with Norman because he was my boyfriend for 2years actually 2years the 7th! Norman is my bestfriend now, and I am here for him and hes here for me. I was willing to let go of Norman and give love another try but it seems whenever I do try and find someone else it just never works out. He was the one *Greg* who said I get attached really easy blah blah blah... I am done with giving people chances. I am just going to be single and see where my life goes from there. I am going to be in a movie which will be produced in Jan... and boy am i excited... I am flying to New Orleans, I have a modeling shoot in NY coming up, my sister's having her baby soon. I wanna start college in Jan. I am getting a place with my bestfriend Tysa and so much is happening and I need to let the DRAMA go. My life is worth far more then DRAMA, DRUGS and NEGATIVES. Norman may not be a perfect angel but neither am i. I admitted to doing drugs to my family and friends and I have stopped. I smoke weed once in awhile but, I don't care for it anymore. It just makes me tired and feel dumb and pass out. I have such a clear mind now that I've been off of everything. I have family who care very much about me and the best friends anyone could ever ask for. Kelly had her baby the 2nd of September. I just need to look at the positives and stay away from the negatives, and people who have negatives in there life such as, DRAMA,DRUGS ect.. Well, im at work i gotta go for now but ttyl
current mood: DUCKISS MWUAHZ
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| Friday, October 1st, 2004
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1:04 pm - Well..
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Hey... well today I was supposed to leave and go outta town.. Sasha is down here visiting!!! I love her!!! She's awesome... Norman called me twice..And then I told him what his mom told me and how I didn't want to be with him and he walked in his moms apartment threw her phone inside and walked out and then came back and took the phone that was in his apartment and gave that back to her and said to stay out of his fucking life forever..i dont know why whenever im done he comes back in my life like everything is ok? he said you know you will always have me and ill always be yours i was like uh..no! I dont mean to be a bitch but look at all this shit hes put me threw.. then he said baby i just didnt want u coming up on the weekend because it would be pointless i wouldnt get to spend that much time with you but whatever i dont care.. my phone is being gay and not ringing....grr
current mood:  annoyed
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Thursday, September 30th, 2004
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10:05 am - Hey!!!
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Hey, well, I opened presents, ate Ice Cream Cake which had Cherrys and Hersheys Kisses on it my two favorite!! I was spending time with my step mom. I saw BJ before she left to go back to South Carolina. It was Misty, Jessica, Me, Kevin, Josh, BJ, Jeff's dad and B. B told me I am beautiful and she heard about Norman and how I don't need that. She's like I have known him since he was 5years old. Your a beautiful girl and can get better and I said yes, I know I can get better. I'm tired of drug's and Norman obviously love's crack more then his own family and me so he can have his drug. But one he need's someone and everyone has left him or dosnt wan't to deal with him because they dont trust him or are just fed up with his crap he dosn't need to come to me because I wont be here this time. Chris haha told me, "Let me see Duck because I swear if he's comes in this neighborhood I will fuck him up because I know that's what Jeff would have wanted because he ripped Jeff off for $80.00. I was like woah... Matt was like I always thought he was bad but damn this week, I have been hearing so much shit about him that I can't believe it. I was like yeah well it's all probably true. I saw his dad because his dad is like my dad and he said Happy Birthday and that he loved me and not to worry about Norman and I said I'm not I am through Woody and he said good. Even his own father thinks I am better off without him. How sad is that? I like someone but I don't think this person likes me too. I mean I don't want to rush into things but I have feelings for this guy I always chill with his name is Greg. But I just dont know what he thinks of me.
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| Wednesday, September 29th, 2004
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11:08 am - MY BIRTHDAY IS TODAY!!!
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HEY!! Wow well I woke up at 7AM, My dad was like wow no alarm clock and its your birthday, he's like I woulda slept in until 8, but I wanted to get everything done I needed to. I need to stop being depressed and live life to the fullest extent possible. .I'm so glad I have my parents here for me, and Greg thank you for making me realize I need to move forward in life not backwards, we must learn from our past and make our future better! Your the best, thanks for being there! Drugs arent worth my life..People leave early and we take for granted a lot in life! We must live each day to the fullest for you never know when our day will come...All the good ones die young.. I'm so glad Misty and I are friends.. she just called me to say Happy Birthday, everything is starting to turn around, I feel so much better now that I am concentrating on my life for once rather then everyone elses. Today is my birthday, and everyone whom I have been treating like shit see's i'm trying to make my life better and there making sure that i have wonderful birthday and that shows i do have some true friends and im glad my friensd are here for me there a wonderful guidance! Well, I will let ya know how my day went tomorrow, I love you all!!
current mood:  My Bday!!
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| Tuesday, September 28th, 2004
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4:32 pm - MWUAHZ!!
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I LoVe aLL oF YoU 2 PiEcEs!! MwUaHz XoXo
*ToOdLeS....HaHa I ToOk GrEgS WoRd*
current mood: XOXO
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4:16 pm - Feeling a lot lighter...Not many weights on my shoulder...
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Well, I just had a long talk with my parents, and they are just really worried and want what's best. I love my parent's and I know they are only trying to look out for me and they have been there before and dont want me making the same mistakes that they did or saw people do. I'm just going to not call Norman anymore, I can't take his issues, before him I was such a happy, sweet person and my mom said even when we broke up I was still a sweet and happy person but he just brung me down a lot. I want to make my life better.. I called this family counseling place and im waiting for them to return my call, but now that I could actually talk with my dad I feel a lot better. I guess I was just attached or i felt i needed norman, but look its almost october and ive made it this long without him im sure i can make it longer without him. i remember telling tonya i love not being with norman anymore because i have nobody bossing me around telling me who i can talk to and not talk to, where i can work and go! I am a free person and he just wanting me at his convience and thats not happening. i am a smart person and i can make it without him, i dont need someone who does drugs and promises to quit, im going to be my old self and that might upset him seeing me happy but i know i deserve it. i look after everyone and like my mom said ive been worrying about other people more then myself.. and like everyone said i need to work on myself and i think ive made a start at least i dont feel all down anymore, i know its stupid to talk about drugs online and all but i just write my feelings in my journal, i guess on some sensitive stuff i should block people from seeing it but i didnt, thank you greg so much for making me realize that i dont need a low life loser in my life, i can do it on my own i can be anything i want to be as long as i try my hardest and not let little obstacles get in the way because life is full of many obstacles and its up to everyone to make there way through them, its kinda like a game you just gotta play it right, not all the time will everything be rosey and peachy but at least i have a life...i have a family who loves me and friends whom i have now are the best ever! tomorrows my birthday hehe!! before i wasnt excited but now i am.. i can't wait until my sister has her baby november 20th!! shes a girl!! cindel renee corlew awwe!! its soo cute!! i hope greg isnt upset with me i just have been taking everything out on everyone and its not right so im sorry to all of you whom i have maybe hurt or upset. i love you all and the old jenn is back UH OH !!! Hehe.. wild n crazy jenn is back!! hehe...i cant wait until church sunday.. i need god back in my life im not going to be a hypercrit and go to church to look better but i need god in my life right now, if it wasnt for him i wouldnt be here and i need to be thankful for every day i g et to live here because one day im going to be too old to be here and ill leave to a better place so i mine as well make the best of my life right now <3 thanks again greg your my best friend and you rock!!
current mood:  Friends do help so does family
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3:28 pm - Can my days get better?
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Ok, yesterday I went to Misty and Jeff's and Kurtis Jeff's dad told me he's so glad that Misty and I are friends again!! I never thought that would happen. I saw all the beautiful pictures of him and its sad. Misty wrote a beautiful poem for him. I talked to BJ she's down here from South Carolina and shes taking it really bad also. See the thing is, John the guy who Jeff got pills from gets pills perscribed to him (xanex,methodones and oxy's) and Jeff went with him to his appointment so shouldnt that be enough evidence? Well, it was cold in the house but it got even colder, I know Jeff's spirit was their. Then Misty and I went to Gregs house. I really like Greg but ever since Casey said he disrespected me really bad I dont know what to think. I like him and I'm not trying to fuck with his head...I was just being selfish because I missed him and it's crazy with Jeff dieing and Kalie almost ODing and James almost dieing Ive been just a total mess. I don't need drama in my life and Norman is full of it. He's doing crack again, I am just scared he's going to be next since that was Norman's best friend whom died. I just wish people would stop with the drugs. Greg isnt a druggy, he's tall beautiful eyes, blondeish hair he's a gentleman. He really is the greatest guy friend I have right now. All my friends always turn their backs on me and screw me over yeah we've had little arguements but all people do. He has his problems of his own but, he's trying to make his life better and I am proud of him because he did something that made me have a lot of respect for him. He really is the sunshine in my life right now. He always makes me smile, laugh and have a good time. And guess what? He looks cucumber melon like me!! woah!! hehe.... I just wish he knew that he wasnt a rebound and I wasnt fucking with his head...I just have had the worst week of my life... I'm getting an apartment with Tysa, I am starting school in Jan!! I am gettin my life turned around.. My mom is going to get a MCC Application for me, so I can attend school in Jan. I think I have just been partying to much and not paying nor caring too much about my life. Thank you Greg if you are reading this because if it wasnt for you to break it down to me that I need to make my life better then I don't know when I would have. That shows you at least care and I want to say a big *THANKS* To you for doing so. I just want my normal life like I've always had back. I know Jeff and everyone else who has passed away is in a better place now watching down on us making sure we don't make the wrong decisions. Jeff I hope I see you at the golden gate..You were greatly loved and many people loved you! Remember when You, Misty and Norman all picked me up from work when I was livin in Bradenton working at TARGET? Haha we went back to your house and drank 151 and i was TRASHED!! Remember I could barely stand up and you guys were all laughing!! Or how about when you were piss ass drunk and you fell flat on your face in the middle of the road? I miss playing video games listening to SPM and cheefing on them blunts! Those were the days, going for long walks hanging out with you and Misty was a blast! I'm sorry that all that drama went down between us!! Please know that you are really the angel from above that god sent down from heaven! I remember all the nights we would go over to Joes house and especially the Halloween party hehe your mask scared the hell outta me!! And Norman getting on the bike drunk trying to ride it home forgetting his truck was at your house... We had a lot of good times, and like they say all the Good Ones die young, and I believe that is true. You are gods gift to misty and im really glad i got to know such a wonderful person like you.
current mood:  Finally realizing
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| Sunday, September 26th, 2004
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4:37 am - Just another fucked up day..
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Well, yesterday I did yayo and so many fucking pills that I could not even fucking breath in 7-11 I was starting to get really scared.. I just have been gettin so depressed lately and so sad that I havn't been caring what the fuck I do or how my life ends up. But the truth is I just want Norman in my life more then anything in this world...We went to Trish's for awhile and then we left and went home...Haha yeah earlier that night I picked up Casey and we went to Gregs house haha BIG MISTAKE!!! Wow!! Gregs xgf Aimee and her nasty skank ass friend Danielle were over Gregs and I asked him If I could talk to him and he kept saying... *PEACE, CALL ME LATER.*, Well I never called him and he called me and he said Oh well i was all Zannyd out and I dont remember shit and said he wanted to chill with me but the truth is, i dont really give a fuck anymore about him nor any other guy anymore im tired of being treated like shit and walked all over....he said the real reason he had them over was so Serggio could hook up with one of the girls but I could care less fuck that...I'm so tired of shit.. I love Norman and just want him i dont give a fuck about anything else... anyways me and Keala never made it to jeffs funeral, i heard Bj and Misty took it the worst.. I wish Jeff never died... He was Mistys life and no matter what me and her had between us I still know the is hurting the worst out of everyone... her whole life was jeff. well anyways today I got my oil changed and took greg to work then i went home the cher concert was cancled... so i went to the tanning bed and came home and got ready and me and keala went to her house in ellenton then we went to see erica, tammy and rachel and everyone else..i love them it was wierd being in manatee palms with me and norman seperated and jeff dead... then finally we made it to gregs house and i took a zanny and then drank and thats about it so far..im tired of drama and everything that been happening...ive been so wanting to move and leave but its like whatever... i love you journal your the best good night
current mood:  drunk
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| Thursday, September 23rd, 2004
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12:32 pm
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MY BIRTHDAY IS WEDNESDAY THE 29TH!!
WHAT ARE YOU GUYS GETTIN ME ?? :)
current mood: energetic
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candiebabe17's journal
